A Halloween Better to Remember and Forget
by YYG
Summary: The Straw Hat crew's first Halloween together. Super long One-shot. Some Sanji and Zoro fluff. Warning: Swearing. Some scary stuff happens, but it still counts as humor.


Me: Happy Halloween! My favorite holiday XD

Mid: I thought it was that long period of time where you don't go to school for a while...

Me: ...Spring Break is not a holiday.

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing in this story. Enjoy!

The Straw Hat pirates docked off on an island called Boshi Boshi, where the villagers were preparing for Halloween tomorrow. Normally, Nami would have told everyone to hurry and restock, but seeing as the log post wouldn't set for a few days, she didn't refuse Luffy's orders of "Let's Trick or Treat!" Everyone was on board with this idea. Well, except Sanji and Zoro. At first, Sanji determinedly explained that they shouldn't waste their appetites on sugary junk, but when Nami asked him to make a dish, based _entirely_ out of candy, the cook's decision changed instantly. Zoro refused as soon as he was told; no specific reason. Why the swordsman didn't want to participant, no one knew. All they knew was that Zoro's words were dead serious, and that he didn't want to speak about the subject anymore.

"All right, here's the dea-" Nami was cut off by the captain's loud cheer.

"YEAHH~, LISTEN UP, GUYS! This will be our first Halloween together, meaning that I wanna make it real special. We'll all go into own today and buy costumes, but we won't show them off until tomorrow, 'kay? No rule breakin'; captain's orders! LET'S GO~!" Luffy happily shouted, jumping off the Merry. Usopp followed behind closely, Chopper hopping off after. The two women chatted openly down the plank about whether their costumes should show cleavage or not, causing a eavesdropping cook to unknowingly drool. Zoro sat near the mast, leaning his back against it. He wasn't going anywhere now or tomorrow. Halloween was stupid to him, and he sure as hell didn't want to wear some shitty outfit with a cape.

As the swordsman was about to fall asleep, a sudden weight pressed down on his shoulders, jolting him awake. Zoro paled when he realized stretched out two hands were gripping him tightly. "I said captain's orders, Zoro," Luffy yelled before he retracted his arms, quickly flinging the first mate off the ship. Zoro kept quiet until he collided with the grass, releasing a low grunt of pain.

Sanji chuckled as he watched the two, lighting his bent cigarette. The thought of the great Roronoa Zoro in any type of costume was hilarious. He silently thanked Luffy for forcing him into going, but a part of him was still curious on why he didn't want to in the first place. Ignoring it, he trudged after Chopper, who was talking with Usopp up ahead. Zoro, however, was being dragged against his will into town, colorfully cursing under his breath. Luffy's grip on his haramaki wasn't budging as the boy cheerfully tugged him. This would be a living hell.

When they arrived at the market, everyone had agreed to find different stores that sold costumes, not wanting to take risks of them being seen. Luffy ran into Dream Wear, Nami and Robin went into a store named Kuties, Chopper wandered into Right Sizes, No Surprises, Usopp into Tido's Speedos (heaven knows why), and Sanji had the responsibility of the troublesome marimo, so they both ventured into Will it Fit. The blonde sat Zoro down next to the cashier by the entrance reluctantly, stating, "We'll take turns; I'll go get mine first. Don't move or you'll get lost."

"I don't get-"

"Yeah, yeah. 'The store moves'," Sanji mocked in, what would be defined as dumb, voice. Zoro's eyebrow twitched slightly in annoyance. It was true, the damn building would! Sighing, he watched as the cook disappeared into the clothes racks on the other side of the store. The marimo thought of escaping plenty of times in those twenty minutes he sat in the uncomfortable chair, but stayed in his place regretfully. The blonde returned with a Will it Fit bag clutched in his hand, a huge smirk plastered devilishly on his lips.

"There's another cashier on the other side. Now go before you hurt that poor chair. I don't want it suffocating in algae," Sanji said, sitting down beside the other. Zoro stood up slowly as he observed the different kinds of clothes. There was a boy section, a girl section, baby section, and an adult section. The swordsman certainly didn't consider himself a mere boy, so he headed over to the sign that stated "Adult Costumes." The cook watched as he left, snickering at what a dumbass he was. He felt bad for not telling the other that this was also a sex shop...

Zoro appeared not to have noticed, considering he came back with a bag and an expressionless, straight face. Sanji nodded towards him, signaling that they needed to leave. The cook obviously knew to go to the boys section, so he didn't know what kinds of costumes the adult section had in stock. He could only imagine what Zoro picked out. And the suspense was killing him.

H{}H

After a night and half of the next day passed by agonizingly slow for everyone, except Zoro, Halloween night finally came. It was chilly outside, but not cold enough to wear a jacket. It should have been dark, but the hundreds of lanterns on the village houses made sure that it couldn't be. Luffy immediately ordered everyone to change after an early dinner, and sped off to a secluded area to change. Sanji eagerly retrieved his bag and took over the bathroom, grinning from all the excitement he was feeling. He wasn't anxious about the whole Trick or Treating ordeal; no, he was more interested in Zoro's costume. The cook tried to get it out of the other man yesterday, but the swordsman stubbornly shooed him away. Hell, he even tried getting the marimo to say it in his sleep, knowing that he sleep talked constantly.

_"Oi, Zoro. What did you buy when you were with Sanji?" Sanji questioned in a squeaky tone. He was making it seem like he wasn't himself that was asking. He figured if it was Luffy or Chopper (the soddenly innocents), then he might have a chance at weaseling it out of him. Zoro snored lightly in his hammock, unknowingly shifting when a voice rang in his ears. The cook waited a moment before asking again, "What did you buy?"_

_"Mm, d-damn it...Shitty cooook. I not tellin'," Zoro mumbled, turning on his side. The blonde stared in shock. How the hell did he know it was him? He changed his tone of voice, and he sure as hell knew the other's eyes are closed. How else?_

_"Now take your oniony smelling ass back to sleep," the marimo groaned._

That night did not go accordingly. Regardless, Sanji went back to sleep in disappointment, silently willing the night to hurry the fuck up. Yes, he knew he wasn't a very patient person, but damn it, it was torture not to know! Not to know what to expect or how to react when the time finally came. Dismissing it for now, he put on his fedora; the finishing touch of his own costume. Sanji was a 1960s gangster, complete with suit, hat and shoes. Once he laid eyes on the black outfit in the store, he immediately had to buy it. This way, it kept his love of suits and his need of a costume.

Walking out of the bathroom and onto the deck, everyone but Zoro seemed to be ready. Luffy was wearing a huge red coat with golden tassels on each shoulder, his hair more of a shaggy mess than it already was. He had pencil drawn lines running across his chin in what was supposed to be a thin beard. Luffy grinned as he waved towards Sanji, "Sanji, look at me! Isn't it AWESOME? I'm Gol D. Roger!"

"Yeah, it _is_ cool. But not as cool as mine," Chopper boasted. The cook paled when he saw the little reindeer wearing an orange striped shirt with a black vest over it. A rolled up piece of paper (clearly nothing in it) was hanging in the corner of his mouth as a fringe of blonde hair from his wig covered his left eye. He didn't have his big hat on, so the doctor's antlers were uncovered, proudly poking out of the wig. Chopper grinned up at the cook with eyes that glowed with excitement.

"I'm you, Sanji! Watch," Chopper said. The creature took out the fake cigarette grimaced towards Usopp and Luffy. "Oi, where's that stupid marimo? I swear I'll kick his ass," he claimed in his squeaky voice. Everyone laughed, even Sanji himself, despite the annoyance he felt of being someone's costume. Though, it was flattering. Robin was dressed as Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt. The look fitted her body and personality well; the white silky dress clinging to her, the fake gems shaping a design in her hair and across her neck, and the gold head-piece sitting on top of her straightened hair. Sanji was breathless as he complimented her. He took a quick glance at Nami, expecting a severe nosebleed to erupt, only to find that she wasn't wearing anything flashy. Nami was wearing her regular clothes, along with white cat ears. No make-up, no collar, hell, not even the tail that went with it. It seemed she didn't care much for the dressing up idea.

"Your costumes are great and all, but check _me_ out! I bet you all weren't expecting this," Usopp exclaimed, posing one on his signature hero positions. A red cape flapped carelessly behind his back (it was rather windy, wasn't it?) while the white trench coat hung all the way down to his ankles. White tassels were on his shoulders instead of gold like Luffy's. The navy blue scarf wrapped around his throat appeared to be tight, but he'd manage to breath.

"So...you're a marine?" Sanji asked.

"Not just any marine! I'm-"

"A captain," everyone finished dully. Usopp laughed nervously out of embarrassment. Was it that obvious what he was going to be?

"What do you suppose Swordsman-san will go as?" Robin questioned. This _really _struck Sanji's nerve; his cigarette nearly burned out from the endless waiting. The male portion of the crew shrugged, but Nami smiled deviously, making the atmosphere a bit uncomfortable.

"Hmm, Zoro's gonna be Zorro," Luffy stated seriously after a silent pause. Usopp raised an eyebrow, not understanding what the rubber boy meant. Actually, no one did; they were all wearing similar puzzled expressions. Luffy nodded confidently, "Yeah, am I right?"

"Uhh, I don't get it," Chopper admitted.

"Zoro's gonna dress up as Zorro! Ya know, _Zorro_ Zoro, with the mask, sword, and the funny hat?"

"I can…actually see that," Sanji said. A picture of Zoro in a mysterious black mask, his eyes boring into the blonde's very soul as their gazes meet. _Oh_, how Sanji would melt. Now, he was strongly wishing that Luffy's ridiculous assumption might come true.

Just then, Zoro's head emerged from the inside of the ship, from his neck and further down still hiding behind the door. Sanji smirked at how shy at other was being. It must have been a really dumb outfit if the marimo was acting like that. Nami giggled when she spotted him, making the swordsman recoil slightly. He asked Nami for help with putting the stupid thing on, so of course she's already saw him. The witch promised not to tell, but Zoro wasn't one to trust easily. Considering everyone's curious faces, she actually kept quiet, which made his fear grow at a fast pace. It would have been easier if everyone knew already and got the laughs out of their systems. But no, the witch had to keep her damn mouth shut for once.

"Oi, Zoro. Don't be shy. It looks really good on you," Nami urged, getting a seething scowl in return. Zoro slowly closed the door behind him as he walked out in the open, preparing for the insults and teasing. When nothing extreme happened, the swordsman blinked several times in confusion. Usopp, Chopper, and Luffy were staring like he was a shiny new gun, a high-class medical book, and a piece of meat. He growled lowly at them, threats getting through as they averted their eyes and began whistling casually. Zoro's eyes darted to a certain shit-cook, who didn't receiving his death warning. Sanji only continued to stare at him, mouth hanging wide open as his eyes shined and sparkled with desire. Although the Zorro image seemed like heaven, _this_ was easily topped it. _Way _too easily.

Zoro was wearing a very, _very_ short black skeleton tutu, along with fish nets. The top of the tutu was strapless, showing off a broad, tanned collar-bone and shoulders. The chest bones and ribs design matched up evenly with his own. The fish nets had pictures of the skeleton's shins running from under the tutu's frilly lace ending (which ended at mid-thigh), stopping at the swordsman's feet. The normal dark green boots were replaced, and his feet were now sheltered by small, black strap-on shoes. Sanji had to stop the river of saliva flowing from his mouth before the ship became over flooded. No one seemed to think it was strange that the cook was drooling over Zoro, of all people. In fact, they all knew he had a teeny _weeny _crush on the swordsman, so this was nowhere near out of the ordinary. Sanji's flirting wasn't what would be labeled as "discrete".

"The hell are you staring at, shit-cook?" Zoro growled as he came down the stairs. Sanji didn't reply; he only watched as those toned, smooth legs swung down on each step. Damn it, this is why he wanted to know ahead of time. Now he was going to act like a complete idiot and probably even give away the fact that he likes the marimo. Zoro, however, did not like being stared at so greedily and for so long. It was frustrating, especially when it was uncharacteristic on Sanji's part. While the chef was in a daze, the swordsman was in his face, snarling, in seconds. Surprised but not at all nervous of the closeness, Sanji remained motionless.

"If you don't stop staring, I'll rip your teeth out. One," Zoro stated calmly.

"Two..." he said after a moment of tense silence. Sanji wasn't dumb; he knew if he didn't do something, he'd get punched in the face. The problem was that he didn't know how to respond to such a beautiful and erotic display in front of him. It was hard enough trying not to fantasize on what he could be doing to those lips. And those perfectly flat abs. And those wide hips.

"Hmpf, three!" The marimo raised his fist, but Sanji's short circuited brain saved his life at the last minute.

"Why are you wearing that?" The question caught Zoro way off guard, causing a slightly shocked and annoyed expression to surface. He was hoping no one would ask, but that seemed impossible. Someone was bound to. He unclenched his hand, letting it fall limp to his side before backing away. The cook breathed a sigh of relief, but also in disappointment from the distance created. The way the marimo had gone quiet suddenly told Sanji that he probably didn't want to share, out of the risk of sounding incompetent or idiotic.

"Uh, well..." Zoro mumbled.

_Will it Fit was bigger than the swordsman thought it would be. The adult section only held what appeared to be skimpy clothes for women, which made him frown. This was the adults' part of the store, so why were there only female products? Zoro walked up to a tired-looking brunette behind the counter, who was dozing off every now and then, head lolling to the side. The swordsman tapped against the wooden surface lightly, snapping the man awake. "Huh? Yes, how can I help you?" he yawned._

_"I'm suppose to go to a, uh, costume party. What do you suggest will be suitable?" The man nodded once before looking Zoro up and down, a smirk slowly grazing over his exhausted features. The moss-head didn't like the guy's mischievous look, but remained silent. The guy, meanwhile, was debating on what to do. There were four cashiers for each section of the store; Zoro was in this part of the store, meaning he wanted one of the sexy costumes. This seemed reasonable enough, right? _

_The man strolled over to wobbly hooks hanging on the wall behind him, picking off a specific one after cautiously checking the size. He hummed in thought before bending down to collect the outfit's matching shoes. Zoro watched in interest, and a bit of worry, as the man chuckled darkly. He turned back around, revealing the infamous tutu, and set in on top of the counter. The swordsman frowned and glared at him. What the hell was this hole-filled thing? Oh, the holes were supposed to be there? "Oi, what are you thinking?" Zoro stated flatly. He assumed this was just a harmless employee joke, and the guy was about to leave only to come back with a great ninja mask, or solider uniform. But the man stayed, a smug and all-knowing smile on his face. Zoro groaned irritably; this was serious. Before knocking the man unconscious, he had to know why he picked this monstrosity._

_"Well," he explained, "the way it is made at the seams compliments the curves of your body. Also, the leggings will help show off but hide your legs to give you that slutty but decent appearance. There are heels that come with these, but I assumed you didn't want to be uncomfortable at your 'party'."_

_"The hell makes you think I wanna wear a short ass dress?" Zoro didn't bother to comment on the word 'slutty'._

_"This is a male version of the original outfit."_

_"But it's just as damn revealing!"_

_"Well, I'm pretty sure your boyfriend over there would appreciate it."_

_Zoro glanced at the front entrance, spotting a crop of blonde before whipping his head back around, a blush slowly forming, "N-no, he wouldn't, dumbass."_

_The man only chuckled, shoving the outfit closer to the embarrassed swordsman, "This costume will do the trick, trust me. Here. It's at half price, just for you."_

Zoro left out the part about the cook, saying that he couldn't find anything cool to wear so he bought this because of a bargain. Male version his ass; what man wears a tutu? That excuse was as stupid as saying Luffy could magically swim, but Sanji didn't question anything. The blonde meekly nodded, attempting not to listen to his instincts telling him to look at the other's ass. He was ashamed that he had to shut his eyes when Zoro walked over to the rest of the crew; that he couldn't control himself as far as impulse.

H{}H

The Straw Hats walked side by side with each other as they visited house after house. A few houses back, Sanji noticed some perverted old and young men checking out Zoro's oblivious behind. This pissed him off greatly, but he did nothing uncivilized. He only sent the scumbags the most deadly glares he could muster as he flipped them off, walking behind the swordsman to selfishly and protectively covered his backside. Totally reasonable. It was the best he could do without Zoro noticing anything. If the other found out, there's no doubt that miracle of a costume is coming off, and there was no way in hell Sanji would let his fun be ruined so soon.

One particular house caught the captain's interest. It was large; gigantically large compared to the other huts and shacks, but it wasn't about the size. It was the bone-chilling decor. Plastic, foot long skeletons limply blowing in the breeze on bushes, blood resembled streamers having that wet and dripping appearance, goblin-like pumpkins that seemed to laugh crazily behind your back, and even the knocker was a giant skull the size of Luffy's fist. The rubber captain grinned excitedly as he clutched his Trick or Treat bag in one hand, the other too busy pointing at the alleged home. "Guys~! That one looks so COOL!" And with that, Luffy flung himself towards the building, meaning the crew had no other choice but to follow.

Zoro was not having fun at all. The costume was surprisingly comfortable, but he didn't care for sweets, he felt totally naked, and what's worse is that the shit-cook was standing ever so closely behind him. He probably didn't mean it, (or did he?) but Sanji brushed up against him when Luffy stopped to announce how fantastic the house was. The swordsman didn't move or speak, but noted how long it took Sanji to move away, which was an awkward ten seconds for him. Granted, he bought the costume to attract the blonde, he was just having second thoughts about taking it off and saying, no, screaming fuck it, and heading back to the ship. Like he didn't know those stupid bastards back there were staring and making dog calls at his ass. He was a whistle away from snapping when the cook had swiftly moved behind him, the laughter and calls suddenly ceasing. The marimo couldn't help but think _Sanji_ behind him was somewhat worse than a stranger, on account of the cook getting a feel in any time he had the opportunity to. Oddly enough, those ten seconds of the blonde's front pressed against his back were boundaried. No gropes, no grinding; just a soft push of cloth on cloth.

The captain arrived at the front door, knocked obnoxiously on it, and held out his bag wide open. The others eventually got there and stood in the same position, waiting for the guy or woman to give them candy so they could get on with their life. The door slowly opened, but no one stood in the threshold. Inside was dark; no light bulbs were on in any rooms, except a few dim candles. A smoke machine was hidden somewhere, transporting fog along the floor knee-deep. Confused at the emptiness, Luffy peered in, only to be struck in the face with a piece of paper.

"Huh? Oi, everyone turned off their lights? Halloween is over?! NO! I don't have enough chocolate," the captain whined, inhumanly twisting his neck around in a panic. Nami sighed as she delicately snatched the paper, making sure it didn't somehow rip with Luffy close by. It read: _Come inside, children. And welcome to my haunted house._

"Haunted house? Well, there's no candy, so I suppose we don't have to go in," Nami clarified. As soon as she turned he back, another piece of paper came flying out the open door, hitting the back of her head surprisingly hard. She winced, angrily grabbing it. _There will be candy. Just come inside already, geez._

Groaning lightly, Nami crumpled it up and threw it over her shoulder, along with the first one. The ball poked Zoro in the eye painfully, but she paid no mind to the hushed cry. Luffy raised his fist in the air triumphantly as Nami took the lead inside, excited that the navigator didn't have a problem with this. The swordsman mumbled under his, rubbing his throbbing left eye. The cook chuckled, but otherwise said no insult. He followed everyone in, stopping when he noticed Zoro had not moved. "Oi, marimo. Come on," he called. Zoro shook his head furiously, turning around and striding off to where he _thought_ the ship was. Sanji frowned. He ran after the moss-head, who began speed walking to get away faster. The blonde tried to stay focused on Zoro himself and not the happily jiggling backside for him and all to _fucking_ see.

"Dumbass, if you're gonna ditch us at least go near the water," Sanji yelled. The swordsman stopped abruptly. He couldn't go in that damn house. And there was no way he was telling the cook why. Then again, he could always blame it on not feeling good. Or just being hungry. No, then Sanji would follow him back to the ship and cook for him. Then they would be alone...He suddenly felt a warm hand touch his shoulder hesitantly, startling him out of his debate. The blonde looked at him worriedly, but it was covered by a smug smirk. His cigarette was dripping ashes as he spoke, "What's wrong? Scared?"

"Like hell," Zoro could hear the stutter and uncertainty in his own voice, meaning the cook probably did also. He cursed himself for not keeping calm and collected after years of training his damn traitor body to do so. Sanji raised an eyebrow, not expecting to hear the other's voice crack. Was the swordsman really scared to go in? What did he think would happen inside? A few cheap sound effects, some cardboard cut outs pop up and they'll be done, right?

"Prove it," Sanji stated, "Come back, then." Zoro bit his lip. He had no idea why he was so frightened of a damn house, but the idea of it made him extremely uneasy. What if it was actually haunted and not some way of entertaining kids? What if the ghost just said that to lure people in? What if-

"Bwak, bwak," Sanji whispered.

"All right, damn it. I'm coming."

H{}H

Usopp began to shake in his shoes, not even five feet inside the building yet. Chopper reassured him that nothing bad would occur, though he was unsure himself. Nami, Robin, and Luffy seemed to be the only ones completely relaxed in this situation. The sharpshooter couldn't understand how anyone could be so calm while there was slimy blood leaking from the seams of the walls. Or when the skeletons' heads would turn ever so slowly as their little crew walked past. Or even as random people would appear out of thin air, greet them, and the _vanish through the next room_. Chopper's teeth chattered uncontrollably as one particular skeleton winked an empty eye socket at him, the bone of the skull actually bending to fully close. The small reindeer screamed fearfully, running up to Luffy to take shelter behind his leg. The captain, oblivious as always, blinked, patting the doctor on the head and grinning widely. Chopper seemed to be enjoying himself.

Robin cocked her head to the side, trying to figure out why a man appeared to be staring at them intensely down the hallway. His clothes were tattered and dirtied, holes the size of bullets on almost every inch of his shirt. No shoes covered his feet; they were big, yellowed, and the toe nails looked sharp enough to clean-cut a sheet of paper in one swipe. Robin tapped Nami's shoulder, stopping the navigator in her tracks. "What is it?"

"Um, Navigator-san, I don't think we should continue on this path. Why not venture upstairs?" Robin suggested. Nami shrugged, not paying attention as the man began to stroll towards them, but Robin did. She had this odd and nagging feeling that she shouldn't let her crew members near him, but that seemed unavoidable now that he was approaching. The stranger stopped in front of Luffy, who was a few steps ahead of the navigator. Luffy grinned and waved eagerly at him.

"Hi, gramps," he bellowed. The man grunted at him in affirmative, walking straight through the captain's body. Luffy didn't seem affected by this. In fact, he giggled manically, muttering "That tickled". Usopp and Chopper stared in horror as the strange man dissipated before their very eyes. Nami was still facing Robin, though, being the only one who didn't witness it.

"All right, we'll go upstairs. Don't see any candy here anyway," she said, grumpily mumbling the last part. Robin breathed in a sharp inhale, calming her trembling nerves. This _was_ just a Halloween themed house, correct?

The cook and swordsman entered the house; the front door slamming shut behind them. Sanji paid no attention to it, but Zoro flinched violently, feeling his breath begin to quicken. This is why he didn't want to fucking Trick or Treat. This is why he never Trick or Treated. And now he was trapped in a haunted house that the idiot captain couldn't figure out was actually haunted! Zoro could tell from the building's dark aura it was flaunting off. The swordsman shivered, ruffling the stupid Will it Fit bag he kept to store candy in. Sanji glanced at him, taking the lead to venture further into the deathtrap. Zoro's feet were planted to the wooden floor, hell-bent on prying the door open. The damn thing wouldn't give; the only thing he managed was to rip off the doorknob and bruise his hands.

Sanji smirked at the marimo's failed attempt, walking backwards to thoroughly mess up the green locks, and then continuing on this so called "tour" of the building. Zoro grimaced; he didn't want to be left alone, then again, he didn't want to keep going. His decision was rushed as the cook started to disappear down the hallway.

"I'm hungry. Where's the kitchen?" Sanji declared. Zoro watched dumbfounded as the other carelessly threw open every door they passed, peering in before close it loudly. The moss-head felt sick; nauseated from the fear shooting up his spine, thinking something would lunge for the cook any second. He needed to vomit; the fear feeling was too strong. Sanji noticed the swordsman cringe once he closed yet another door, growing more concerned for him. There was a reason the marimo didn't want to come, but Sanji wasn't going to fall for that 'I'm sick,' or 'I'm tired' shit before now. No, Zoro actually looked ill, and in more than just a physical way.

Zoro walked along the wall of the swaying skeletons, though there was no wind, and upon passing by, the last one seductively winked at him. Its teeth bones curled up in a barely recognizable smirk, and then silently fell into their normal place. The swordsman gasped loudly. Sanji raised an eyebrow, looking backwards, but Zoro had already caught up to him faster than the wind. "The hell is your problem?"

Zoro averted his eyes away in embarrassment and anger, "The damn thing _winked_ at me! I heard the skull crack; that shit can't be plastic! Then its teeth _moved_ and-"

"Oi, do you need...something?" Sanji asked, wrapping a comforting arm on the moss-head's waist. As Zoro faced him to protest, it wasn't Sanji's body that was holding him. The large body was built and stiff, way more than his was. A terrible rotten odor came from the person, the ghostly white bulky arm around his waist suddenly tightening. The thing's eyes were halfway dangling down its face, which was deathly pale and cracked, skin similar to that of a broken mirror. The stranger screamed at the top of its lungs demonically, voice doubling over about ten more, each a different pitch. Its grip began to snap his ribs one by one, but no sound of pain escaped his lips. Zoro felt his stomach churn in utter fear, the need to vomit becoming stronger.

Sanji was standing in front of him, acting as if nothing happened seconds ago. The cook raised an eyebrow at the marimo's strange behavior, reaching over pat his back gently. Zoro whipped around, but that monstrosity wasn't there; no trace of it was either. His breath grew shaky as he leaned against the wall for much needed support. What the fuck just happened and why didn't Sanji comment on it? Unless...

The swordsman reached for his left hip, only to remember that Luffy forced him to leave them on the ship. He scowled, glaring at the so called "Sanji". The blonde's eyes widened at the familiar gesture, confused on why Zoro would need his swords in the first place. "You bastard," he murmured, "You thought that shit was funny, didn't you?"

"The hell are you talking about, marimo? You just started keeling over randomly," Sanji clarified. Zoro took deep breaths before spotting a staircase that led upwards, hopefully to a restroom.

"The asshole of an owner's trapped us here, the least he could do is let me use his bathroom," Zoro said, complete exhaustion audible in his tone. Sanji had no clue what the swordsman's problem was, but he didn't care for it. He didn't want Zoro to be glum and miserable while they were doing something fun. Well, as fun as a cheap way of entertainment could be anyway.

H{}H

"So, you seriously don't see _anything_ wrong with this?" Usopp yelled at the captain, who was happily chasing floating, and rapidly _fleeing_, pans and pots around the kitchen. Why the kitchen was on the top floor instead of the bottom, no one questioned. Why the cooking equipment seemed to be out to get everyone in the group except Luffy, this question was screaming in each of their heads. Perhaps it was the captain's boldness and wanting to touch the kitchen equipment that made the various plates run in fear. Robin barely ducked a rather huge spatula that was aimed for her head. Chopper was failing his tiny arms as he ran, tongue hanging out of his mouth as he yelped every time he ducked a murderous bowl.

"Oi, this reminds me," Luffy stated, stopping his pursuit of a terrified spoon, "Where's Sanji and Zoro?"

"Sucking face, now can we PLEASE leave this room?" Nami pressed, swatting a turkey bastzer away from smashing into her forehead. Luffy blinked innocently, but headed for the door regardless. Everyone followed, rushing out before something else hurtled at them. A fork quaked vigorously in the air, lunging for the back of Nami's head, but resulted in capturing one of her cat ears, and pierced it into the wall as she left.

Sanji kept an eye on the swordsman, who tried his best not to retch every two seconds. When they reached the top of the stairs, Zoro immediately sprinted to the first door on their left labeled "moorthaB". Are backward words supposed to be scary? Sanji chuckled, waiting outside. He figured he should stay by Zoro's side in case the other fainted or something instead of searching for the kitchen.

The swordsman stared at his pale features in the cracked mirror, cursing the fact that he was being weak around the cook. Okay, he'll admit it: scary things aren't his subject. He can't handle it well, especially on Halloween, when people start to dish out the _real_ things. Zoro never liked it as a kid, and he sure as hell doesn't like it as an adult. Koshiro always comforted him on Halloween, even when he left, he thought of his beloved sensei to calm his nerves. But thinking of him wouldn't work this year. He's never been in a haunted house before, and the fear and paranoia are beginning to get to him fast. Sanji's with him, he keeps reminded himself that, but that only makes him feel worse. What if Sanji looks down on him after this is over? Would he ever want to date a 'fraidy cat like him? Zoro sighed, the nausea taking its time leaving. His reflection stared at him, expressionless and sweating. The marimo grimaced; he looked like this in front of the blonde?

_"Hey, how's it going?"_

"Shit, not good," Zoro replied flatly.

Wait.

What the fuck?

The moss-head's eyes snapped forward, meeting his reflection's sly smirk. The very same smirk he made indicating that somebody was getting cut. Zoro rubbed his eyes until they burned, but his reflection only laughed loudly, throwing his head back. "..." The swordsman was speechless. His fear meter was deep in the danger zone. The reflection breathed out little giggles, coming down from his laughing fit.

_"Ah, that was priceless. Your face was as white as a sheet."_

"What the hell are you?" Zoro shakily questioned.

_"What does it look like? Can't you read, dumbass? I'm moorthaB. All I gotta do is look at you, and then I know everything about you. And by the looks of it, I'm here to tell you to man the fuck up. What can ghost or monsters do to you? Sensei would be disappointed if he were here right now."_

"You don't know shit about me. You're not even real!"

_"I'm as real as you are. Now, shut up and face the facts."_ moorthaB was gone, even as Zoro stood in front of the mirror, the reflection wouldn't return. He groaned, turning on the sink water to soak his face. It rumbled and shook, but nothing came out the tap. Frustrated, the swordsman hovered over the drain and peered down in it. He couldn't figure out why the damn sink wasn't working. An endless fountain of water suddenly shot out, soaking not only his face, but the stupid tutu in the process. The cloth clung to his skin irritably now, water dripping into his leggings. 'Fuck this bathroom,' he thought, but angrily growled aloud. He stomped out and slammed the door behind him.

The cook wasn't there anymore. Anxiety started to suffocate him as his breath hitched. Where the hell did Sanji go? How could he just up and leave him alone? A yell came from the room across from him, the door was slightly open. Zoro walked right in, instantly getting struck in the chest with a persistent colander. The swordsman grunted, having the wind knocked out of him from the impact. Sanji was having a battle of his own. Most of the supplies dived for him; the utensils repeatedly poking him ruthlessly. Sanji let them, too. He made no move to try to swat them away. Zoro raised an eyebrow, batting at a floating turkey baster.

"Oi, marimo! Found the kitchen," the blonde grinned.

"I can very well see that. What are you doing? And why are you letting them do that creepy shit to you?" Zoro asked. Sanji shrugged, the utensils around him doing their best to look intimidating. It wasn't going as planned.

"I'm a cook! Disrespecting equipment is like kicking a baby to me. Besides, it looked normal when I came in, but I guess there are strings attached everywhere and shit. The shitty fridge is empty, so I tried to make something from scratch. Then-"

"Then your loyal subjects turned against you?" the marimo smirked. A overdramatic huff was his answer. Zoro's fleeting fear eased up on his stomach from teasing the cook. It wasn't gone; as long as he was in the house, it never would be. But somehow Sanji's company made it decently better. The silverware eventually gave up their meaningless pokes and prods, giving the frying pan a shot instead. It lunged for the blonde's head at ridiculous speed, but Sanji dodged it before he was missing an eye. It fell onto the floor with a loud clatter, remaining motionless. The swordsman stared in shock as the other man didn't appear to be afraid, or even effected. How could the cook be so calm?

"Oi, we're just gonna have to go hungry for now. The exit can't be too much further—NO! NAMI-SWAANN," Sanji yelled, finding Nami's plain black cat ear. There was no mistaking that it wasn't hers. Zoro opened his mouth, but shut it quickly once he noticed the other already left the room. Did Sanji really believe this was just a Halloween themed house?

H{}H

The crew, aside from Sanji and Zoro, finally made it to the exit after coming down the stairs; a door with a charred and wobbly metal handle being there only means of escape. Nami grabbed it, letting her skin adjust to the icy cold surface. She tugged, but it wouldn't budge. She attempted many times, each one failing miserably. Robin lightly stepped in front of her and twisted it roughly, succeeding in hurting her fingers. "It's almost as if someone is holding it in place," she muttered. After the ghost man, Robin was certain another person probably was. She read that objects grew cold when spirits touched them, but there were none they could see. Nami groaned and complained about receiving zero pieces of candy while Chopper and Usopp clung to each other for dear life, quivering. Luffy cocked his head to the side as he stared at the door. In Luffy logic: they wanted to leave, but the door wouldn't let them.

"Mr. Door, can you let us past?" the captain asked, doing his best to yank the piece of wood open. Nami rolled her eyes; this idiot, talking to a door. What was he thinking anyway?

_"No,_" a low voice stated, which came from either the door itself or behind it. Either way, the navigator was pissed off.

"What the hell? Gimme my candy!"

"And open the door-"

"And open the door!" Nami added after Robin's suggestion. Though, it wasn't as important as candy in her opinion. There was no reply, the door's silence making everyone feel ignored. Suddenly, Luffy tried pulling at it again, earning a disoriented grunt. He thought it was hilarious, so he innocently continued this annoying process until the voice returned, filled with irritation and rage.

_"WHAT DO YOU WANT?"_

"SOME DAMN CANDY!"

"And open the door-"

"AND OPEN THE DOOR!" The door did not move or speak. Nami continued her aimless ranting at the door for quite some time, yelling about 'no chocolately goodness' to 'Luffy, you're an idiot for being polite to an asshole door' to irrelevant topics like 'damn, it's so cold'. Robin pinched the bridge of her nose, the headache only rising in intensity. Why did they have to stop at this island around this time of year?

The door grunted irritably, a gust of wind blew from the keyhole, supposedly being a sigh. It whispered in Luffy's direction, "_Why is she so bitchy?"_

After they reached the bottom floor, Zoro walked a few inches behind the other, staying as close as humanly possible to the cook without accidentally touching him. Sanji didn't seem to have a problem with this. In fact, Sanji was grinning evilly since the swordsman couldn't see his face. Having Zoro use him as protection did wonders to his ego, and inflated his teeny-weeny crush ten fold. He suddenly though about those corny old movies where the girlfriend always clung to the brave boyfriend, screaming things like "Help me" or "Save me" or just screaming in general. Sanji felt like this was kind of related to those situations, only the marimo didn't have him in a death grip, and there was no killer monster, and Zoro wasn't screaming.

The swordsman made a pained whimper and Sanji stumbled forward from a sudden press of weight; the cook felt his arm being squeezed until it was engulfed in numbness. Sanji's shit-eating grin turned from egotistical to sadistic in mere seconds. If the blonde wasn't hell-bent on making Zoro his, insults and teasing would have already been spat. But now, this was his window of opportunity, and he was going to use it.

"Marimo, what's wrong?" Sanji cooed gently, feeling the swordsman slowly recoil at the words. Zoro's arms were hastily ripped off of Sanji's. The bubbling fear in his gut made his body act instead of thinking things out.

"Nothing's wrong why would you think something was wrong when there was absolutely nothing at all is wrong you shitty perverted cook?" The marimo breathed out, hearing and feeling the shake and crack in his voice. Damn, that stupid statue had to grab his ass when he wasn't looking. The bastard had caught him off guard, that's all. Clinging to the cook was instinct. Normally, his instinct was to drink the scary away, but Sanji's cologne was as close as he was going to get to intoxicating.

The blonde's shitty grin returned as he lazily shrugged, "Oh, well then. I would've let you hold my hand if you-"

"Dip shit! Why the fuck would I want to hold your hand?"

"I don't know. Ask your fucking hand that."

Zoro's hand was indeed intertwined with Sanji's. His grip was strong, the cook noted, and his hand was trembling. Was Zoro really that scared of a few smoke and mirrors? The swordsman stood awkwardly still, even when Sanji tried to tug him along. Zoro kept silent and planted, a small blush covering his cheeks. He didn't want to be led like a damn kid. But he just couldn't bring himself to let go. The feeling of the cook's hand was _so_ warm and soft and delicate; he couldn't miss this chance.

This sensation; he didn't want it to ever fade. Zoro squeezed tighter, making the cook worry. "Z-Zoro?" Sanji called.

"Sanji, I…I like y—"

"WHO THE _HELL_ ARE YOU CALLING BITCHY?"

The blonde gasped, but his hand never fell away from Zoro's. "What'd you say, marimo?" he urged, a sparkle of hope flashing in his eyes.

"I…er, nothing."

For once in his life, Sanji was cursing his beautiful swan name. She _had_ to ruin this moment, didn't she? Would the swordsman say it twice? Zoro stumbled down the hallway in the direction of the angered voice silently. He said, he actually said it, but the cook didn't hear it. It took every fiber of his being to say those damn words, and now he didn't think he ever could again. He dragged Sanji along with him, who appeared to be even more disappointed and pissed than Zoro was. A frown was plastered to his face, and a scowl was threatening to follow. Damn it, how could he get him to repeat it now?

Luffy and the crew slowly came into focus in the fog, standing beside a fuming navigator yelling at an inanimate door. The cook and swordsman joined them, and were immediately swarmed with hugs and sobs from Usopp and Chopper. They pushed Usopp off, but let the doctor continue to cry. The captain grinned coyly, "Hey, guys! Are you done sucking face?"

"I-IDIOT," Zoro growled, his cheeks reddening. How the hell did Luffy know what that meant? And how could he just assume it? Sanji snickered softly at the moss-head's humiliation. Robin giggled, but her seriousness eventually returned after a while.

"Cook-san, we need to open the door to leave. Could you do the honors?"

"OF COURSE, MY ROBIN-CHWAN~! Anything for you~!" Sanji's right leg collided with the now chipping wood in seconds, causing wood splinters to fly. The door was broken in half, revealing a back yard leading to the ocean. Luffy cheered at their little achievement, running after the fleeing sharpshooter and reindeer.

"_Who said you could break down my door?! You'll all pay for that,_" an ominous voice bellowed. The same demonic screech Zoro heard earlier came from behind the crew; the slimy pale monster tumbling out the threshold. Zoro screamed bloody murder, his voice cracking and his throat dry. The swordsman lurched forward and clamped onto Sanji's waist tightly, burying his face in the soft suit jacket. The cook stared at the monster barreling towards them, in both fear and surprise. How the hell did the owner come up with such realistic slim and skin?

"You fucking moron, run," Zoro shouted, not releasing the cook. What was Sanji going to do? Carry him? An evil smirk grew on the blonde's face, one that could put the monster to shame. Sanji hurriedly pried Zoro's arms off of him, earning a whine of disapproval, but replaced them just as quickly around his neck. The swordsman lost his ability to breath once he was lifted into the cook's arms. Zoro didn't know how to react to being carried bridal style, so he kept his mouth shut and decided to enjoy it while it lasted.

The monster was…an incredibly slow one. It was no doubt limping towards them, but it had not even reached five feet away from the door. There was a slight spring in his step, but certainly not much speed. Sanji had plenty of time to drag out this whole carrying Zoro thing, giving him satisfied amusement and the need to embarrass the other. He won't deny that it was nice holding the marimo, though the situation would have been better if they weren't speed walking away from a fucking one inch per second slim creature.

"…You're light as hell. I don't think your training is doing much," Sanji stated, enjoying how Zoro quickly turned his head away.

"Shut up. I don't want to be heavy, stupid. I wanna have muscle. Besides, don't talk to me about weight with your scrawny ass."

"Well, this scrawny ass is carrying you effortlessly, isn't he?"

"WOULD YOU TWO GET ON THE DAMN SHIP?" Usopp cried. Sanji blinked, glancing back to see how close the monster was.

Turns out the creature had an energy boost.

The cook flinched when he noticed the monster was a foot behind; its obsessive limping turned into a pattern of light jogging. Zoro screamed again, this time right in Sanji's ear. His grip wasn't as loose as it first was, tightening on the blonde's shoulders. He gently shook, silently shooing the creature away so it wouldn't touch them. Silently begging that Sanji would either put him down or hurry the fuck up.

The dup reached the docks and practically ran up the rising plank. Luffy wanted to bring the monster with them, as a mascot, but his vote was outnumbered by a landslide. Sanji still clutched the swordsman in his arms as the sails were guided by the wind; the island slowly drifting further away. The monster was standing stock still at the harbor, growling and screeching at the Going Merry. Sanji relinquished the warmth of Zoro's body against his chest, smiling as he found the feeling a bit relaxing.

"Um, down?" Zoro choked out. As much as he _loved_ this, he could hear the crew laughing, which was unacceptable. Sanji nodded, though the depression wasn't hidden. The swordsman stood beside him, leaning against the railing.

"Zoro?"

"Yeah?"

"For the record, I like you, too." Zoro's blushing face and sound of surprise were music to the cook's ears.

Meanwhile, the monster stared off into the horizon; the ship a few yards away now. It groaned, pulling out Dootsie Rolls from his costume's pockets, "I thought that impatient bitch wanted candy."

Me: Wow…LONG…AS…HELL…

Mid: We had fun writing it X) Review!


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